It is always embarrassing to see so many well-meaning people attempting the impossible. That’s how I have felt recently about the efforts around the world to disconnect teenagers from their smartphones. These efforts have routinely failed, usually after a few hours or days, and yet the lesson has not been learned. Banning smartphones for young people is a policy that faces two huge obstacles: the fervent determination of millions of teenagers to remain addicted to what has become their real world, and the equally fervent determination of the predatory tech industry to keep them (and you) addicted for life. Like most battles against addiction, this one was lost before it began.
However, there may be a small victory to be won at the other end of the age scale. Our senior citizens, myself included, have suffered the escalating intrusion of the internet into our lives for decades. We never asked for it, most of us never wanted it, and yet we never had any choice. It is like being forced to join an alien religion. And of course, it is a religion in a way. Those little symbols on the screen are called icons, and icons are objects of worship.
So, we see old people walking around bent over, not because of arthritis but because they are staring shortsightedly at their tiny screen, which also puts them at great risk of falls. It may be that future generations will be born hunchbacked as an evolutionary adaptation, but long before that, phones will probably be installed inside our brains.
Some seniors have plunged into the internet swamp because they feel that they must “keep in touch with the grandchildren.” But people have kept in touch with their grandchildren for thousands of years without this technology, and it is not at all obvious that all grandchildren appreciate continuous electronic surveillance. It’s a bit too much like Orwell’s 1984 for comfort. But for the rest of us, the result is that everyday activities like shopping, banking, and healthcare have become increasingly complicated, risky, and incomprehensible. Older folks can remember booking a restaurant table or a medical appointment with a simple phone call, without ever needing a confirmation code or a dual security interrogation or their grandmother’s thumbprint.
The so-called “content” that innocent seniors are exposed to through their phones is a riot of irrelevance and childishness. It’s dementia in a box. It could addle anybody’s brain, let alone the fragile brain of a senior citizen.
So, my suggestion is to allow all seniors, including the President, to enjoy their remaining years in peace by disconnecting their smartphones after the age of (say) seventy. Unlike teenagers, we would not be smart enough to beat the ban within five minutes, and a great sense of peace would descend. We could write letters, walk into stores and banks, talk to real people, look things up in the library, and we would become happier, less confused seniors with straighter spines.
Younger people could continue to enjoy the grotesque world of artificial excitement and overcommunication that the media companies have concocted for them. As time passes and they approach their seventieth year, they will at least have something to look forward to.
