Everyone loves a gift. That's why “Free Gift” is such a common advertising offer. A free gift sounds good. Even while the rational part of our brain tells us that the cost of the free gift must be added to the price of the product, the phrase still has a subversive attraction, the eternally broken promise of something for nothing.
Almost every culture in the world has a system of gift exchange. Anything can be a gift: seashells, brides, animals, and even intangible things like prayers or blessings. There's the Native American Potlatch ceremony, the Kula ritual in New Guinea, and of course, the greatest gift-giving jamboree of all, Christmas, symbolized by the bountiful figure of Saint Nicholas, the patron saint of pawnbrokers, otherwise known as. Santa Claus, or Father Christmas. Whatever his real name is, he has no grasp of basic economics. He just gives stuff away. This is exactly the kind of free handout program that gives the president hypertension.
There are basically two schools of anthropological thought about the habit of gift-giving. The unromantic view — let's call it the utilitarian theory — suggests that we give in order to get. Gifts are just a way of putting people under an obligation. I will give you these red feathers if you will take the evil spirit out of my best pig. I will give you this gigantic campaign contribution if you will arrange certain legislative benefits for my corporation. I will give you the toys you want if you will stop whining and behave yourself when grandma comes.
The kinder, gentler theory of gift giving – let’s call it the relationship theory – claims that it's not self-interest at all, but a tradition of voluntary exchange that keeps society in balance. Gifts are a recognition that we're all connected, we all depend on one another.
The relationship theory is more heartwarming. But, during the Holiday season, greed and self-interest are a lot more apparent than mutual recognition and kindness. Gifts generate about $450 billion in retail trade at Christmas, or about $500 for the average family.
A gift is a symbol of a relationship. Kindness is a gift. A kiss, or a smile, or a hug, or even a telephone call can be a gift. Washing the dishes can be a gift. Love is perhaps the ultimate gift. It's not necessary to destroy the bank balance, the credit balance, and the balance of power just to give a gift.
Children see things differently. They want it all, and they want it right now. They won't be satisfied with a kiss, even from Santa Claus himself. But that's because our children, like our billionaires, are at the gravitational center of their own universe, pulling everything towards them. There must be some advantage to growing up, and perhaps this is it: to learn that the universe is a big place, where gravity pulls both ways, and there are a lot of wonderful gifts that even money can't buy.
