A few years ago, in the midst of a chaotic presidential election, I wrote an essay proposing, as a kind of satirical joke, that we might be better off with a monarchy. I should have known that bad jokes like bad dreams have a way of coming back to haunt you.
It has been widely suggested that in the past couple of months, that monarchy has come to America, and this seemed exaggerated to me until I saw a picture on social media of the president dressed in full Royal regalia with a crown and the slogan God Save the King. Perhaps it was a joke, but you can’t get much more explicit than that. So, I was inspired to go back to my old essay and see what my arguments in favor of monarchy were then. If they were convincing enough, I might get a job at the White House.
Many people are clearly disillusioned with messy, ineffective electoral politics and have a nostalgia for simplicity and order. When it comes to simplicity and order, monarchy ticks all the boxes. When it comes to freedom, of course, none of them. But freedom is not the irresistible slogan it used to be. A monarchy still has freedom of speech, although free speakers tend to disappear.
Monarchy has many advantages. That’s why it has survived for thousands of years and is an object of universal fascination if not worship. Kings usually claim to have been chosen by God. If you have doubts about this qualification, the king will be pleased to confirm it.
An old-fashioned, totally powerful, all-or-nothing king seems, from a distance, quite an attractive idea. A king can get things done, although he must be prepared to play the game - to demonstrate a certain dignity, a certain glamor, and at least a nod in the direction of justice for all. It’s important to put on a good show, as the British still do: Royal weddings, nice costumes, glittering soap operas, and of course a palace, or at least a big golf club to symbolize traditional territorial power. Monarchy has lost much of its absolute power in the 21st century. “Off with his head” has been reduced to “you’re fired.” But still the idea of a single dominant figure seems irresistible to some.
The main advantage of a monarchy would not be efficiency. The history of kings has been a history of catastrophic mistakes (I won’t even mention George III). The advantage would be its relative simplicity. The ludicrous and expensive charade of elections would be unnecessary, and we, the people, would no longer suffer from the illusion that we can choose between two potential leaders we know nothing at all about. The succession would be fought out between members of the royal family in the traditional way
When I first wrote about this, I thought that switching to a monarchical system would be hard or impossible because of popular resistance. But I was quite wrong; there was no resistance. The United States had a narrow escape from monarchy during the Revolutionary War, but now perhaps the wheel has come full circle. In 1797, on the last day of the Constitutional Convention, Benjamin Franklin was asked: “So what do we have, a monarchy or a republic? “
Franklin, always a realist, replied: “A republic if you can keep it.”
