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David Bouchier: Better Than Perfect

Courtesy of Pixabay

The Holiday letters are coming in, those annual news reports from friends and relatives that have become almost as traditional as sprigs of holly. These letters are a wonderful way to keep up with those who live far away, but sometimes I have doubts about their accuracy, or at least their believability. Like photos on Facebook, these letters are all smiles. 

Here, for example, is what we may call the generic or universal Holiday letter, written in the third person superlative, on which all others seem to be modeled.

Dear Friends,

This has been a wonderful year for us. Joanna became CEO of the Megabucks Mining Corporation. But she hasn't given up her sculpture. In fact her work won three top awards in prestigious exhibitions this year, and her studio was featured in the Architectural Review.          

Meanwhile Giles has been making his mark in the literary world. As you know his first novel was a great critical success, and Harper Collins has offered a big advance on the second. He has a collection of poems on the way too, but becoming dean at the university has kept him from working on this as hard as he would like. The big Guggenheim grant he was hoping for just came through as well, so this is going to be a very busy and exciting year for Giles.

Speaking of the Guggenheim, you won't believe it but young Angelica has just won a Fulbright. She's going to India. Edwin continues to be a star student and athlete at his high school, taking both the Latin and the mathematics prizes this fall, and captaining the senior hockey team. He's planning to go to Harvard Law School, and become an advocate for the poor.

Our late summer cruise in South America and the West Indies was just divine, such luxury we could scarcely bear to leave the ship. The China and Tibet tour was more challenging, but so educational for the children, and we made it up to them with a couple of weeks at Club Med in Morocco.

After Joanna's promotion, we moved to a cozy new cottage up in the hills with sixteen bedrooms, a Jacuzzi and a forty-foot indoor pool. You must come and see us soon. But we expect to be away a lot this coming year: the Greek Islands in May, when they're at their best, then Australia in July and France in October after the crowds have gone, to work on our French and tour the vineyards.

We still find time to jog ten miles a day in the morning and go to the gym in the evenings. Giles is working on his golf and has taken up the piano. Joanna is re-reading Proust's Remembrance of Things Past in the original, which she finds so much deeper and more moving than the translation.

With love to you all, from Joanna and Giles, Angelica and Edwin

That's a typical Holiday letter, and it’s hard to compete, either in reality or in imagination. But this is no time for critical, ironic comments about fake news. This is the season of peace and goodwill, of dreams and fantasies. For the next two weeks, I will believe anything.

Copyright: David Bouchier

David began as a print journalist in London and taught at a British university for almost 20 years. He joined WSHU as a weekly commentator in 1992, becoming host of Sunday Matinee in 1996.