Oct. 11 is National Coming Out Day. It’s a day meant to celebrate LGBTQ+ history and visibility.
Shavana Clarke is the reigning Miss Connecticut USA —and she’s the first openly LGBTQ+ Miss Connecticut in the state’s history.
WSHU’s Haley Alvarado spoke with Clarke about her coming-out journey.
WSHU: Can I ask why you decided to become Miss Connecticut?
SC: I have been doing pageants since I was a little girl, maybe two-ish. It was when I got into my first pageant, and I kind of just loved what pageantry was about. I mean, yes, it's really fun and glamorous to walk on stage and all that stuff, but it's also about having a message and sharing that and initiative and your platform. And I think that's really special.
When I was competing, one thing that I was solidified on is I really wanted to talk about mental health, because it's had a huge impact on my life. You know, along the way, I realized how important it was to have someone in my position that is open about my sexuality and kind of a representation for other queer kids out there that may not think that they can achieve incredible things because of their sexuality, and I wanted to be able to have that platform.
WSHU: And starting off as young as two, was there initial inspiration, like watching them on TV?
SC: I think just my mom realized that I kind of loved walking around the apartment, putting on a show, pretending like the hallway was my catwalk as I got to understand pageantry more. And, you know, I grew up watching the Miss USA pageant every single year, Miss USA and Miss Universe — seeing those women and the things they can accomplish.
I took a break from pageantry for a while, and it wasn't until 2019 that I saw Zozi, who was Miss South Africa, [compete for] Miss Universe. And I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, she's just this beautiful black woman, short hair… she looks like me.’ And then I remember looking at my mom and saying, ‘I think I think I can do that. I think I could be that inspiration for someone.’
WSHU: And do you think representation is important for the children, especially for coming out day?
SC: I realized that I actually liked girls when I was in middle school. I was in middle school and was like, ‘something's wrong because I have crushes on girls, not boys. Like, what is going on with me?’ But I grew up in a very heteronormative environment. I was born and raised in the Bronx, and my neighborhood was very Caribbean, specifically Jamaican. Jamaican culture is not known for always being the most accepting. So I grew up in a very, very straight environment, and I didn't have that to look up to. So, when I was trying to understand who I was in middle school and why I had these feelings, I actually didn't have a good grasp of what was happening, and I had no one to look up to.
I actually talk about a lot how me figuring out my sexuality and my mental health journey kind of started at the same time because being so confused and not having that representation in terms of my sexuality really affected my mental health, anxiety, depression, and kind of how I saw and moved throughout the world.
WSHU: For your Miss Connecticut interview? You wore a crochet dress?
SC: I did!
WSHU: And it had the colors of the lesbian flag?
SC: So I crocheted my own outfit for my Miss USA interview. It was magenta. That was my grandma's favorite color. You know, when she was alive, she would tell everyone that she knew that her granddaughter was gonna compete at Miss USA one day. So she truly manifested that for me. So I really wanted to celebrate her on the back of the top, I did a lot of beading work in the colors of the lesbian flag. That was the first question they actually asked me about in my Miss USA interview.
WSHU: How did you come to love your identity as being part of you?
SC: Oh my gosh, it's been a journey. I think mental health, for sure, has been one part of the journey. I've had incredible therapists, just people on my side who have really spoken to me and kind of given me that grace and that space to accept and love who I am. Yeah, but I think a huge, huge part of it is definitely my mom. I still remember coming out to her.
And the really funny thing about coming out to my mom is that she already knew, right? So growing up, I remember several times that she'd be like, ‘Shavana, do you like girls?’ And I'd be like, ‘No, mom.’
And I remember when I was finally ready to come out, and I told her, and we were just both crying, and she was just like, ‘I was just waiting for you to feel comfortable, to feel safe.’
I remember one June, we were watching the Pride Parade on TV, and she turned to me and was like, ‘Why aren't you out there?’ I just started crying, actually, because it was really emotional for me, honestly. And she was like, ‘Look at those people. Look at how happy and joyful they are to celebrate who they are. You will never be at peace unless you are able to fully embrace who you are.’
Coming out is just one part of the journey, but fully embracing it is a whole ’nother adventure. Because my mom and my family have been so supportive, they allowed me to do that in my own time, but in a beautiful way. I am so very grateful for them.
