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Lessons on love from 'meet cutes' in New York

Meet Cute NYC

AILSA CHANG, HOST:

So it's no secret I love people watching. It's one of my favorite ways to kill time, no matter where I go. I'm sorry if you're some of the people who happen to be around me. And one of my favorite forms of people watching involves spotting a pair of people and trying to just figure out - what is their deal? Like, are they old friends? Are they lovers? Are they on a first date? Or are they just really close siblings who vibe? And I don't know about you, but sometimes I just want to go up and ask them.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: Excuse me. Sorry. Are you two a couple?

TOM: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: Would you mind telling us the quick story of how you first met?

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: Oh, my God.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #3: Oh, my God.

CHANG: (Laughing) Oh my God. OK, for the past couple of years, three guys in New York City have been doing what most of us are just too shy or too awkward to do. They approach strangers on the street and ask them about their relationships, posting their interviews online. These filmed encounters have drawn in millions of followers to their account called Meet Cutes NYC, and they have compiled some of their best interviews into a new book of the same name. Aaron Feinberg is one of those guys, and he joins us now to share his insights on the spontaneous interviews on the streets of New York, which is where he is calling us right now. Hi, Aaron.

AARON FEINBERG: Hey. Thank you for having me.

CHANG: Oh, well, thank you for being with us. Where are you in New York City right now, exactly?

FEINBERG: I am in Madison Square Park on a beautiful fall day. The birds are out, the dogs are running around, and really excited to be chatting with you.

CHANG: So what are the visual cues you guys look for that prompt you to think to yourselves, OK, I bet they have a good story?

FEINBERG: It's just, like, the little things. Like, if you see a couple walking and sort of touching each other, holding hands, maybe they just shared a kiss, and we saw it from afar. We'll kind of run over. If they're holding coffee is another one. Getting them caffeinated and, you know...

CHANG: (Laughter).

FEINBERG: ...Just sort of in the mood to talk to us. We try to find those couples that are, you know, feeling good and life-is-good energy. And just - that's what we feed off of, so...

CHANG: Yeah. Well, is there anyone right now who's around you that you think might be a good interview subject?

FEINBERG: There are two people that are sitting down. One of them has a cup of coffee. The other one has an orange juice. They're smiling. They're laughing. They're giggling. And, you know, that's the perfect example of two people we'd walk up to.

CHANG: OK. So tell me about an interview that you just can't get out of your head.

FEINBERG: Ooh. We just did one recently - Tom and Lisa. We stopped them on the street. Immediately they're one of those couples that has told this story - you could tell - many, many times. They kind of knew that this story was going to be absolutely epic. The way they met, they were walking by each other on the street, and they made eye contact.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

TOM: And what did I see?

LISA: We just had a moment.

TOM: I see her looking back at me.

LISA: And then that night, went into my apartment building, open up my front door - there. He walks by, and I'm like, hey, didn't I meet you today? And he's like, hi, I'm Tom. I live in 4D. I was like, oh, you live in my building?

TOM: I was like, she lives in my building.

LISA: I'd lived there a whole year.

FEINBERG: He had been living on the same floor in the same apartment building for over a year...

CHANG: Oh, my God.

FEINBERG: ...And they'd never met each other.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

TOM: Twenty-nine days after the first day we passed each other on the street, we went down to Center Street and got married.

UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: Wow.

LISA: Yeah, eloped - we didn't tell anyone, called our parents the next day.

FEINBERG: They just went to the courthouse. And, you know, this is a staple of their relationship.

CHANG: Oh, my God. Well, your book, it also has a section dedicated to people who fell in love after getting a second chance with each other. But sometimes we all know people shouldn't be getting back together. How did the couples you interviewed make it the second time around? 'Cause I'm kind of wondering now if I should give any of my breakups a second chance (laughter).

FEINBERG: (Laughter) Yeah. There was one interview we did with Mike and Karen. It was all about second chances. They had been dating, and Mike at the time had not been as serious about taking their relationship to the next step as Karen was. And Karen broke up with him because didn't see that this was going to be long term. Fast-forward a few years later, Mike and Karen are walking down the same street in the city...

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

MIKE: We fell into a kiss.

KAREN: And we just didn't say a word...

MIKE: One of the best kisses in my life.

KAREN: ...After not seeing each other for two years. And then it was just like...

MIKE: And we haven't been separated since. And that was...

KAREN: We've been married 37 years.

MIKE: ...Close - 37 years.

FEINBERG: And I think we have lots of stories where couples, you know, gave each other a second chance.

CHANG: Well, after talking to thousands of couples, are there any lessons that you have learned from those couples that you bring into your own relationship?

FEINBERG: There's one in particular that I've really held recently. And this is actually from Tom and Lisa, the story that I was just telling you about. And he said something around the lines of they have a competition who is more thoughtful and who's doing more for each other.

CHANG: Oh, my God. What a great way to be competitive.

FEINBERG: Exactly. And they've said that that was, like, sort of the...

CHANG: Oh, my God.

FEINBERG: ...Foundation of their beautiful life together.

CHANG: I love that idea so much. Oh, Aaron Feinberg of Meet Cutes NYC. You can read more in Aaron's new book "Meet Cutes NYC." Thank you so much. This was fabulous to talk to you.

FEINBERG: Absolutely. Thank you so much. Thanks for having us and, you know, letting us spread a little love. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.

Ailsa Chang is an award-winning journalist who hosts All Things Considered along with Ari Shapiro, Audie Cornish, and Mary Louise Kelly. She landed in public radio after practicing law for a few years.
Ava Berger
Michael Levitt
Michael Levitt is a news assistant for All Things Considered who is based in Atlanta, Georgia. He graduated from UCLA with a B.A. in Political Science. Before coming to NPR, Levitt worked in the solar energy industry and for the National Endowment for Democracy in Washington, D.C. He has also travelled extensively in the Middle East and speaks Arabic.
Justine Kenin
Justine Kenin is an editor on All Things Considered. She joined NPR in 1999 as an intern. Nothing makes her happier than getting a book in the right reader's hands – most especially her own.