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Life Kit explains why prenups should be part of the conversation before marriage

SCOTT DETROW, HOST:

When you get married, there are so many details to figure out. There's the wedding itself - think venue, headcount, food. Then there's also other decisions. Is anybody changing a last name? If you're moving in together, what kind of design choices should you make? Amidst these very important decisions and milestones, spare a moment to think about a prenup because it turns out they are not just for the rich and famous. NPR Life Kit host Marielle Segarra has the story.

MARIELLE SEGARRA, BYLINE: A prenup, or prenuptial agreement, premarital agreement, is a legal contract between soon-to-be spouses that lays out how they'll deal with marriage after a divorce if it happens. But also, during a marriage, your prenup can address whether you have a joint bank account or have separate ones or whether you'll pay off your student loans separately or together.

THERESA VIERA: If you get married and you don't have an agreement stating how your finances, your property, your debts are organized during the marriage, then the state laws would apply.

SEGARRA: Theresa Viera is an attorney at Modern Legal, a family law firm based in North Carolina. She says she sees a lot of people get married without understanding the legal obligations.

VIERA: And I tend to compare that to, say, buying a car. When we buy a car, there is, like, so much paper we need to fill out and we're advised of all these laws. And it all comes down to if you don't pay for the car, it's going to get repaired, but people don't think of the same things when they're getting into a marital relationship.

SEGARRA: Viera says everyone should think about a prenup. Some situations where you might especially want one - if you come into a relationship with any notable property.

VIERA: It's one thing to only have the gross couch in your college dorm room, but it's a totally different situation when you have already established a 401(k) account or an IRA, or if you have owned real property already.

SEGARRA: Also, if you want to start a business someday, or if you want to have kids because often, when people have kids, one partner takes a step back from their career. And a prenup can make sure they're financially protected. Viera suggests that you start thinking about a prenup at least six months before you get married.

VIERA: I would argue it should be one of the first discussions after the engagement ring is exchanged. And I say that because you don't want the duress of a wedding to influence your decision to enter into a prenup.

SEGARRA: Like, maybe you already spent thousands of dollars on a dress or a venue, so you feel like you have to move forward with things. And she says each partner should have a lawyer to negotiate for them. Now, this might feel a little clinical to folks, or people might bristle at it and be like, wow, you're thinking about divorcing me already? Why are we even getting married? Viera's got another car metaphor for you.

VIERA: Generally, I tell individuals, think about insurance. When you got car insurance, did you automatically start drinking and driving, or did you start driving erratically down the street? Because although car insurance helps us in the case of a car accident, we don't move forward in life as if we're going to get into an accident.

SEGARRA: And when it comes to a prenup, you're not going to start acting like you want to get divorced, but the contract is there just in case. Also, know that you might not agree with your partner on every detail of a prenup, but if you can talk about it and work through it, that shows you have some of the skills that make a good marriage. For NPR News, I'm Marielle Segarra. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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